Contents
The Option
We'll be recording this session so the Blessed Entity will have a reference document should questions arise, of course, should the oblivion option be chosen, the file will destruct along with the Blessed Entity. Any questions so far?
No.
So, how's it going?
Pretty good, how's by you?
You know, purgatory is purgatory.
How much time you have left?
Fifty four thousand two hundred twelve years, forty seven days and about eleven hours.
Wow, you just missed hell by a hair.
Hey.
Just kidding, you get time off for this gig?
No no, this is fun and it helps to make the time pass. We have full enlightenment in purgatory you know, it's not just for heaven and hell. We all have to know the consequences of what we did or in your case, didn't do. As they say, 'That's what makes hell, hell.”
I didn't just waltz in here, I did some purgatory time too. I paid my enlightenment dues just like everyone else.
So, how long you been in the Presence?
Gosh, long time now, I'm not really sure.
Well, it's got to be more than five hundred thousand years or we wouldn't be having this conversation, right? Oh, maybe you're one of those looking for the early hardship option, are you?
How's that work, anyway?
Work?
Yeah, how do you qualify, or better, why would you want to go? It's nice here, right?
Sure, it's perfect, it's heaven, no complaints, it's just, you know, kind of boring after a while. And no, I'm not one of those early hardship options.
Oh yeah, that boring thing, but you get to be with God, right?
Sure, but He's busy and you don't want to be too clingy. And there's the over crowding.
Nah, you're pull my leg, there's hardly anyone here.
It's the boredom! Eternity, as they say, just goes on and on and on, forever.
So boredom, that's why you are considering the option?
I'd say that's it, yes.
Okay, well at this juncture, I'm required to inform you of the details of oblivion and then to ask you if you have any suggestions that could make the heavenly experience more meaningful, pleasant or fulfilling. We will now begin the serious portion of the interview.
First, oblivion is instantaneous, irrevocable and without consequences. In other words, you just step forward and puff, oblivion, no backies and no stigma. Some of you may believe that old earth taboo about suicide applies here, but not true, it's final, no second level of heaven, no reincarnation, no memory, no hell, nada. So, before we get to the suggestion section of the interview, would you like to discuss reincarnation options?
You mean go back to earth or one of those other experiments, not a chance. And risk ending up in hell, or back in purgatory for “fifty four thousand two hundred twelve years forty seven days and about eleven hours.” or is it ten hours now? No way.
Very funny. So no re up then?
No re up.
Then let's talk about your suggestions for an enhanced heavenly experience.
Alright.
Do you have any suggestions?
Yes.
Well? I detect a reluctance.
Do you? It's not just me you know, you must be familiar with the problems, no religion, no prayer, no identity, no connections with family, friends, enemies, ex's, you name it.
Any other suggestions?
Just those.
Nothing else, then?
Well, what about those, and fixing the boredom thing?
You know as well as I why you don't have those things here in heaven. Do we really have to do this again?
You asked.
Okay, what's your Numero uno, what would make you happy?
Religion, it gave me such comfort during my time on earth and those early years here.
You remember why religion was abolished, don't you? Remember, a bunch of you guys got sent down. We were doubling up for years, no elbow room. Purgatory was a fiasco.
I remember what we were told at the time, but that wasn't me. Why do I have to suffer because of a few bad apples?
A few bad apples, the whole place went to hell in a matter of a couple thousand years. It was earth all over again. You must remember. The Druid wars? And the crazy Odin's with their oblivion cults.
Couldn't it work if we were all the same religion?
Come on, we tried that, remember? You were all going to be Followers of God, except in no time the Baptists wanted a no dancing rule and the Catholics started a secret Blessed Virgin Mary Society that not just anyone could belong too. And the identity thing, don't even go there. Our group is superior to your group, I'm from royal Entity blood and who do you think you are addressing me? It was the Romans and Christians all over again. Enlightenment didn't trump that I'm special crap once you had your identity back, did it? Imagine, Africans demanding exclusive God time cause they were first out of darkness? And prayer, remember that guy that prayed for thirty years non stop pretending he was in the wilderness just so he could impress God, and then he wanted a commemorative plaque. This is going nowhere, you've mentioned boredom several times, maybe we should talk about that?
Okay.
Have you been taking the hell excursions? They have some dandy mid twentieth century musicians playing down there.
Only about fifty thousand times. Seems I've done everything fifty thousand times.
Sarcasm, sarcasm, the devils weapon.
With your term in purgatory, you obviously know a lot about the devils weapons.
You know, I thing you should consider that oblivion option and with your attitude, consider doing it today.
Not cool buddy, your attitude has convinced me to stick around, just so we can have a few more sessions together.
Damn.
Warren Crane, Mt. Washington, 2011 © Used with permission of the author.
Contents
We'll be recording this session so the Blessed Entity will have a reference document should questions arise, of course, should the oblivion option be chosen, the file will destruct along with the Blessed Entity. Any questions so far?
No.
So, how's it going?
Pretty good, how's by you?
You know, purgatory is purgatory.
How much time you have left?
Fifty four thousand two hundred twelve years, forty seven days and about eleven hours.
Wow, you just missed hell by a hair.
Hey.
Just kidding, you get time off for this gig?
No no, this is fun and it helps to make the time pass. We have full enlightenment in purgatory you know, it's not just for heaven and hell. We all have to know the consequences of what we did or in your case, didn't do. As they say, 'That's what makes hell, hell.”
I didn't just waltz in here, I did some purgatory time too. I paid my enlightenment dues just like everyone else.
So, how long you been in the Presence?
Gosh, long time now, I'm not really sure.
Well, it's got to be more than five hundred thousand years or we wouldn't be having this conversation, right? Oh, maybe you're one of those looking for the early hardship option, are you?
How's that work, anyway?
Work?
Yeah, how do you qualify, or better, why would you want to go? It's nice here, right?
Sure, it's perfect, it's heaven, no complaints, it's just, you know, kind of boring after a while. And no, I'm not one of those early hardship options.
Oh yeah, that boring thing, but you get to be with God, right?
Sure, but He's busy and you don't want to be too clingy. And there's the over crowding.
Nah, you're pull my leg, there's hardly anyone here.
It's the boredom! Eternity, as they say, just goes on and on and on, forever.
So boredom, that's why you are considering the option?
I'd say that's it, yes.
Okay, well at this juncture, I'm required to inform you of the details of oblivion and then to ask you if you have any suggestions that could make the heavenly experience more meaningful, pleasant or fulfilling. We will now begin the serious portion of the interview.
First, oblivion is instantaneous, irrevocable and without consequences. In other words, you just step forward and puff, oblivion, no backies and no stigma. Some of you may believe that old earth taboo about suicide applies here, but not true, it's final, no second level of heaven, no reincarnation, no memory, no hell, nada. So, before we get to the suggestion section of the interview, would you like to discuss reincarnation options?
You mean go back to earth or one of those other experiments, not a chance. And risk ending up in hell, or back in purgatory for “fifty four thousand two hundred twelve years forty seven days and about eleven hours.” or is it ten hours now? No way.
Very funny. So no re up then?
No re up.
Then let's talk about your suggestions for an enhanced heavenly experience.
Alright.
Do you have any suggestions?
Yes.
Well? I detect a reluctance.
Do you? It's not just me you know, you must be familiar with the problems, no religion, no prayer, no identity, no connections with family, friends, enemies, ex's, you name it.
Any other suggestions?
Just those.
Nothing else, then?
Well, what about those, and fixing the boredom thing?
You know as well as I why you don't have those things here in heaven. Do we really have to do this again?
You asked.
Okay, what's your Numero uno, what would make you happy?
Religion, it gave me such comfort during my time on earth and those early years here.
You remember why religion was abolished, don't you? Remember, a bunch of you guys got sent down. We were doubling up for years, no elbow room. Purgatory was a fiasco.
I remember what we were told at the time, but that wasn't me. Why do I have to suffer because of a few bad apples?
A few bad apples, the whole place went to hell in a matter of a couple thousand years. It was earth all over again. You must remember. The Druid wars? And the crazy Odin's with their oblivion cults.
Couldn't it work if we were all the same religion?
Come on, we tried that, remember? You were all going to be Followers of God, except in no time the Baptists wanted a no dancing rule and the Catholics started a secret Blessed Virgin Mary Society that not just anyone could belong too. And the identity thing, don't even go there. Our group is superior to your group, I'm from royal Entity blood and who do you think you are addressing me? It was the Romans and Christians all over again. Enlightenment didn't trump that I'm special crap once you had your identity back, did it? Imagine, Africans demanding exclusive God time cause they were first out of darkness? And prayer, remember that guy that prayed for thirty years non stop pretending he was in the wilderness just so he could impress God, and then he wanted a commemorative plaque. This is going nowhere, you've mentioned boredom several times, maybe we should talk about that?
Okay.
Have you been taking the hell excursions? They have some dandy mid twentieth century musicians playing down there.
Only about fifty thousand times. Seems I've done everything fifty thousand times.
Sarcasm, sarcasm, the devils weapon.
With your term in purgatory, you obviously know a lot about the devils weapons.
You know, I thing you should consider that oblivion option and with your attitude, consider doing it today.
Not cool buddy, your attitude has convinced me to stick around, just so we can have a few more sessions together.
Damn.
Warren Crane, Mt. Washington, 2011 © Used with permission of the author.
Contents