Danielle, Age 18
Jennifer is snoring
and I really don’t want to be here anyway. This bed is uncomfortable. Well, it’s
not that bad but it’s definitely a camp bed. And how can I sleep with Jennifer
snoring? All it does is remind me that I’m away from home and relatively free
and that it’s against my principles to act like I’m not free when I am. So I’ll
leave. Going out the window would be fun, but it’s too noisy because the
screens are held on by nails. Anyway, sneaking down the hall and out the door
does entail it’s own amount of risk. Actually, I’m not thinking all these
thoughts one by one. They all sort of came in a clump but I stopped and took
them out one by one and discussed them with myself. But my mind is already made
up. The doorknob is cold and the hall is pretty dark, but Mrs. Jones left the
light on in the kitchen so I can see pretty well. The front door is unlocked of
course. I hope I remember my way to the dam. I want to see it alone at night.
The moon is out and me and it are alone, but we’re not really alone because
there are rocks and trees and newts too. I wonder why this road is paved. I’ve
never seen any cars on it. Of course, I haven’t been here for long either.
There’s a white soft mist hanging over the mountains. The mountains are dark
purple and sort of mottled. I can see the lake now. A rocky edge by the side of
the road leads to it on my right. The mist hanging over the lake looks eerie.
Part of me wants to leave, but I’m not listening to it. I hardly ever do. I’m
getting closer to the dam now, closer to the tunnel. It’s a black spot in a
purple blob with a white ring over the top. I think I see someone moving at the
opening of the tunnel. It was just a flash of lighter color on black. It scares
me enough to make me stop. A cool breeze chills me and makes me look towards
the cabin. I feel like an idiot standing there. I hope no one is watching me. I
shiver. But I know I won’t go back, so I start walking again. The dam bounces
closer. I can hear the wind swishing through the trees on the other side of it.
My hair is being blown everywhere. The concrete of the dam is rough and
slightly wet. And cold. It is a dark tan color in the moonlight. I pause
briefly at the entrance of the tunnel. “This is just a game,” I tell myself. It’ll
be over in a few minutes and I’ll be proud of myself. So I go in, trailing my
hand along the rough left wall. I can see a small haze in front of me and a
large one behind. I start moving again
slowly, quietly, for a long time. Suddenly, I freeze. Something moves behind
me. I catch a brief glimpse of a figure disappearing around the edge of the
cave. I crouch down, praying that I haven’t been seen or heard. Something moves
behind me again. I get up and slowly start walking again. Its probably some
weirdo (like me) out for a walk. So I’ll just walk to the other end and figure
out how to get back later. Maybe I could climb back over the mountain home.
Probably not. Could I go around the lake? A long trip and no sleep tonight
would be worth not having to do this again. My hands and face suddenly hit the
hard ground as I trip over something sluggish. Underneath me I can feel two
legs and my side is pressed against a stomach. The body slowly shifts toward me
and the head ends up leaning against my neck. Why can’t I move? I’m too scared.
Everything has stopped except for my mind which is spinning. He’s dead. Maybe
he’s not dead. He’s so cold. Why did I come here? I’m thinking too fast. I
can’t think. Something is pressing hard against my elbow. I lean to the right
and almost wretch as I feel the pull of the dead fingers that still hold the
gun. Deliberate footsteps walk toward me. I slowly crawl on my hands and knees.
My eyes fill with tears as the body slides to its side behind me. Along with
the footsteps I can hear fumbling. I slowly shift to my knees then feet, ready
to bolt. But I have to move slowly and carefully. This is more important than
the drivers test that I took for the second time or the SAT. Slowly, eyes wide
open, step, step. Oh God a light. Can he see me? He has to. The footsteps stop
and so do I. Looking back, I see his profile as he nudges the body with his
foot and I see the body fall back into place in the light. I slowly tilt my
body until my shoulder blades are pressed against the uneven wall behind me. My
left shoulder goes back further that my right so I automatically move and
squeeze myself behind the shallow bump in the wall. My hands clench into fists
against my chest. As the light flashes by me I die a thousand deaths as the
footsteps start to sound again. Are they moving towards me or away from me?
Should I run? For once tonight I will play it safe and remain where I am. The
footsteps fade. I sigh silently and realize how sweaty I am. And how cold. And
tense. And tired. How the hell am I going to get back? I’m not going near the
body again. Should I move? I’ll count to ten slowly and then take a step. One.
Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. I hear a footstep and it’s not
mine. A low chuckle fades into the distance. My whole body is one big tense
muscle. The other end isn’t too far away so I think I can make it. I slowly,
with infinite care, start to move. I can see thing outside the tunnel now. The
road, trees, rocks. When I finally make it out I take a deep breath and sigh. But
I still don’t feel safe. I’ll climb up the hill to the left and hide behind a
tree to think about what to do next. Too keyed up to think about cleanliness, I
lay down and curl up and try to think. I start up when I hear the leaves move
next to me. It’s a squirrel, running around in the early morning sunlight. I
fell asleep. How could I sleep? What about the body? After ten years of trying
to decide but not really thinking about it, I decide to check. As I’m standing
in the entrance of the cave, I feel joy because there is no body and I dreamed
the whole thing. But before I can shout with joy, I look down and see the gun
in my hand.