Just
Yesterday
A First
Love Remembered
by
David
Overgard
Copyright
1998
Phoenix,
Arizona
Just
Yesterday
A First Love
Remembered
The
phone call came thirteen months
ago yet it seemed like just yesterday.
Elizabeth was sitting at her desk daydreaming about her first
love when
the phone rang. Where was he now? How had his life turned out?
It hadn’t been a fantasy daydream, just a
random wondering off into space about someone very dear.
Someone who at one time was everything to
her. To her surprise this call was from
him. If Sandy, her secretary, had not
announced Mark, Elizabeth would have been speechless.
As it was, it took her several minutes to
compose herself and to overcome her surprise at the timing of his
call..
Something this coincidental was not the result of just some random
events in a
godless universe. This must have been
planned by a much higher power than her.
Someone with a definite design on her life.
Now thirteen months and several letters and
phone calls later they were meeting for lunch, to see each other face
to face
after so many years.
Elizabeth
arranged to take an accounting package to the company’s bookkeeper and
Mark had
arranged his day for a long lunch break.
How he had chosen the one restaurant in the very same building
as her
appointment was another one of those questions that had no answer. She arranged to be early so that she could
get comfortable and to compose herself.
It had been
thirty years and so many lives, and pounds, since they had last seen
each
other. Would he recognize her? Would she recognize him?
As she sat
waiting for Mark she rehearsed this meeting over and over in her head
and came
to the conclusion that the best way to keep this meeting professional
would be
to just stand up, keep the table between them and cordially extend her
hand and
offer a strong, firm hand shake. Just
like she had so many other times in her daily business life. Nothing new, she could handle this. She ordered an “Iced Cappuccino” to set the
demeanor of this meeting as one of pure friendly interest.
As she sat there going over what was on her
mind she kept asking herself “Why?” “Why
were they meeting?” The apprehension
just kept rising to an ever-increasing level with every moment she sat
waiting. If she played this right, she
could keep her
feelings concealed from him and yet maintain an attitude of concern for
his
dying mother and their renewed friendship.
Mark tried
for years to locate Elizabeth, his first love.
As things finally worked out he was been back in Phoenix on a
temporary
assignment thirteen months ago. Now He
was temporarily working with her brother Tom.
Well, not exactly with her brother but close enough to call and
inquire
about her. To Mark’s surprise, Tom told
him that she was also living in Phoenix now and had mentioned to him
just last
week that “she sometimes wondered what had ever happened to Mark?” The Gods must have been looking over Mark
that day. Hopefully they’d also hang
around today. After all this time, the
end to his search might be at hand. If
she’ll only talk with him today. Their
parting had been such a mystery to him.
One day things between them were as good as they could get and
the next
an “Iceberg” that could survive hell had appeared.
All of Mark’s attempts to find out what he
had done were met with stone cold silence.
The only clue she had ever given him was “you know what the hell
you’ve
done!” That had been the end of their
great beginning. They shared so much
with each other way back then. They were
about to become each other’s first loves and were going to enter
adulthood
together. Each was pretending to be
worldly, yet each knowing the other was as dumb about love and sex as
themselves.
Back
then each had taken the time and had spent the energy to approach their
first
time together with love and compassion.
Their first time was going to be special because they were in
love and
were more concerned about the other’s feelings than for what was in it
for
themselves. In the age of free love,
their upbringing led them to reserve this once in a life time
experience for
what they believed to be their life partner.
Then for Mark, what had begun as an exciting excursion on a
joyous river
of unbridled passion and intimacy, turned into an uncontrollable ride
down a
deep dark depressive spiral. Mark hit
bottom hard and didn’t have a clue as to why.
His grades went into the toilet and his boss fired him for not
keeping
his mind on the job. Why? Hopefully this
meeting with Elizabeth would finally give him a clue after all so many
years. If only she’ll talk with him
today! Maybe, just maybe, the “Iceberg”
has thawed a little by now and he could come to closure on one of his
life’s
most unanswered questions.
Thirteen months ago, with
a head full
of apprehension Mark placed “The call”.
“Yes, one moment please,
Whom may I
say is calling?”
“Mr. Mark Scott” he said
without
thinking. As he waited on hold, he
thought “God, what a fool!” “Now she
knew who it was and I’ll never be able to talk with her.”
“What if she’s married and her husband finds
out about this call!” Tomorrow’s
headlines will read. “A jealous person strikes leaving no trace as to
whom or
as to why!”
“The minutes passed and
Mark thought
how stupid he was. “She doesn’t even
remember him.” Just as he was about to
hang up, that sweet voice he recalled
from his youth floated from the receiver.
“Mark!” “Where are you?” She spoke with all the self-assurance
of a
major accomplished business’ owner.
The next hour became a
blur as they
both caught up on the last three decades.
The kids, the vacations, the jobs, the folks, and finally the
spouses. Yes, they were both married. Yes, still to the same one.
Yes it had been rough for both of them but
there wasn’t any other way. Divorce was
not in either of their vocabularies.
“They would have to get
together
sometime.” “Yes!” “Maybe when everyone
was in town together they could have dinner someplace.”
“He would call again when he found out when
“She”, his wife, was going to be back in town.”
How wonderful it was to
hear her
voice, to laugh, to share the past, to find out how they had traveled
down the
same paths. Like two trains headed in
the same direction but on parallel tracks.
Always moving ahead yet never crossing each other’s path. “Is
this the
way it will always be?” “To never meet
again?” “Two ships passing in the
night?” “It can’t be!”
“He wouldn’t let that happen this time. He
vowed to her and himself that he would
keep in contact.” Besides he still didn’t know how or why she had gone
her
separate way. He just had to find out
why.
“That was strange”
Elizabeth
reflected as she slowly, gently replaced the receiver in it’s cradle. Here, she was just daydreaming about him and
out of the past he suddenly reappears.
His boyish gibberish was still a delight to listen to. When they were dating, he would call and they
would talk for hours about anything and everything.
And look at the time. They were
talking for over an hour. Thank God the
company’s recording line was
tied up when Sally put the call through to her.
A tape of the last call is all she would need.
If that call ever fell into the wrong hands,
or her husbands, the outcome would make the Watergate tapes pale by
comparison. She wondered, “Will he ever
call again?” “Will it be another thirty
years?”
Mark kept his promise to
keep in
touch. Over the last thirteen months
he called at least every three or four
months to maintain contact and to let her know what was going on in his
life. He also let her know that he was
still trying to get the four of them together for dinner.
He wasn’t having much luck. His job
in Phoenix was not extended, thus he
was back to San Diego for a permanent job (one with benefits) and to
live with
his wife. His intent was to establish a
stronger material foundation so “She” could leave her long time
position with
the hospital and enter private practice.
As luck would have it, Mark found a position for her in North
Scottsdale. The job was just what his
wife wanted and Mark did an excellent job negotiating a contract that
was too
good for her to pass up. So again they
were living apart. This new twist of
fate sent Mark on his own intense job search in the Phoenix area. With Mark’s mom now diagnosed with stage 4
cancer he was back in town living with
his mom. Marks wife was living across
town and he had finally given up on getting the four of them together. He hadn’t really wanted to meet “Him” and had
no real reason for Elizabeth to meet “Her”.
Mark really just wanted to be alone with Elizabeth to ask the
questions
that he felt were on both of their hearts and minds.
Questions that could only be asked in private
without fear of reprisal when they each went home to “Them”.
When Mark finally
acknowledged to
himself what he really wanted it took him several weeks to built up his
courage
enough to arrange this lunch meeting somewhere with Elizabeth. He picked a nice safe open restaurant that
offered no possibility for them to be alone.
He knew he couldn’t trust his feelings and he sensed that she
was also a
little uncomfortable finally meeting him after all those years. As lunch approached, Mark began rethinking
what he was about to do. Reason finally
won over his desire and he remorsefully decided to cancel the luncheon. He placed the call at exactly 10:30 knowing
he could use the excuse his boss had called a special meeting. Elizabeth would understand.
“Damn!”
He missed her.
Her secretary told him
“Elizabeth has
gone to the book-keeper’s and wasn’t expected to be back before 2:30.”
“Do you want to leave a
message?”
“No” he replied and hung
up before
she could ask him for his name.
He was committed now. He had to show up or forever give up trying
to find out what happened so long ago.
He quickly cleared his calendar for the next few hours and told
his associate
that if anyone came asking for him to have them page him.
He hit the road with a
feeling of
uncertainty but with the passion of a teenager.
He had his foot to the floorboard and the engine red lined. He took the corner as fast as the Supra could
go. As he entered the freeway from the
on ramp, he had both turbos kicked in and was doing over 100 mph. He entered the freeway and whipped across
three lanes of traffic like they were standing still.
What was he doing? As he rounded
the curve to the intersecting
freeway he backed off the throttle. “OK,
Mark,” “Just cool it!”
“Everything will be fine. She’ll
keep things under control.” During the
rest of the drive to Eddie’s,
he planned just how he was going to meet with her.
First the obligatory hand shake and then the
uncomfortable wait with all the other diners also waiting for their
tables. Just small talk.
That should set the stage appropriately. Nothing
personal with all the other people
standing nearby. Then once seated, he
would
order a light lunch and maybe one of Eddie’s special Spring
Fevers, that
special blend of tropical fruit juices with a splash of sparkling soda
he liked
so well. Something cool and refreshing,
to keep his emotions in check.
As he slid into the
parking space he
was asking himself one more time Why?”
“Why had he ever suggested this?”
As Mark entered Eddie’s
Bar and
Grill his eyes, adjusting to the light, was drawn passionately
toward
Elizabeth. Toward his first love. He was transfixed on her profile as she sat
at the table he had reserved. He would
recognized her anywhere. She had changed
over the years, but she still retained the attractive facial features
he first
fell in love with so many years ago. He
just stood there, watching. Watching her
every move.
“Mark… Mark”, Sean said
gently, not
wanting to create a disturbance with the other customers.
“Your other party has already been seated,
would you like to join her now?”
Being jarred back to
reality, Mark
replied in his softest murmur, “That’s OK, Sean, I’ll seat myself.”
Mark, mesmerized with the
vision
before him, slowly approached her. Ten
thousand thoughts crowded into his mind.
With all the preparation and planning he had gone through for
this
moment, this was not the way it was suppose to happen.
His resolve to remain just friends was gone,
gone forever.
With her back toward the
entrance,
she did not see him enter the restaurant nor advance to her table. Before either of them knew it, he was
standing beside her, drenched in desire.
Delicately he bent down to her level as she turned her head to
see who
was standing behind her. Without
hesitation he tenderly placed his hands upon her cheeks and kissed her.
That kiss.
How many times had she longed for that
kiss. The passion that flowed forth from
the two lovers flooded the restaurant with tranquility.
The world came to a stand still. If
she had not been sitting, she would have
collapsed from the overflow of sensations racing through her body. Every muscle in her body relaxed.
Every neuron in her brain exploded. She
had never experienced such an
overpowering emotion in her whole life.
She was complete. She was at ease
with all the world. Nirvana had arrived. That kiss!
She was at his mercy. Nothing
else mattered in the world at that moment.
All she wanted for the rest of her life was to keep those lips
pressed
next to hers.
That kiss.
How many times had he longed for that
kiss. That kiss that kept running
through his mind. That kiss that he had
tried to find in every lover since her.
That kiss that they shared as young lovers was like a narcotic
that,
once tasted, could never be forgotten.
That drug so overpowering, nothing else mattered.
How could he have ever let such a euphoric
sensation escape. He was at her
mercy. Anything she wanted he would give
her.
Their
kiss lasted only a moment.
That
moment lasted an eternity.
Eternity
was just yesterday.
Mark composed
himself and joined her at the table.
They sat and looked at each other for several minutes. Just looking and beholding the visions
sitting in front of them. Mark reached across the table and took hold
of
Elizabeth’s hands and tenderly squeezed them, not saying a word.
Sensing this might be his
only chance
Ralph, their waiter, gently stepped over and asked if Mark wanted
anything to
drink.
“Just a Fat Tire” he
responded
without even looking up. This wasn’t the
way he had planned this meeting.
Everything was going wrong.
Everything
was so right.
He
just
wanted this moment to last forever.
Why
had they
separated?
He
had to
find an answer to that most agonizing question!
They continued to just sit
and hold
each other’s hands, not saying anything, until Ralph returned with
Mark’s
drink. Ralph asked if they were ready to
order and they both broke out laughing.
It wasn’t anything that Ralph had said, it was the fact that
neither one
of them had even thought about the menu. They were caught up in the
memories
that were as vivid as if they occurred just yesterday. They were not
there for
lunch, they were there for each other. Everything at
Eddie’s is excellent, so it
really didn’t matter what
they ordered That’s was why Mark chose
this place.
Looking up at Ralph, Mark
said with a
grin, “We’ll just start off with the toasted sea food wantons.”
Looking over at Elizabeth
for her
approval, she gently nodded her head in agreement.
He had already established
the fact
that she had been to Eddie’s before and it was also one of her
favorite
places. The way he felt right now, the
wantons would have been a meal in themselves. The magic of the moment
had been
broken. Both of them picked up the daily
menu and checked out the specials for the day.
Both glancing up and down repeatedly to reassure themselves they
were
really sitting here with their first love.
Mark, knowing the menu by
heart gave up pretending to read it and laid it down, letting it slip
down onto
the floor making no attempt to pick it up.
Elizabeth, not wanting to make any decisions either, laid her
menu down
knowing the combination plate was always different and always delicious. It would be great whatever it was. She didn’t care.
They sat and talked, until
Ralph came
back with their wantons. Ralph could
tell this was not a normal business luncheon.
The romance that radiated from the table was being felt all
around their
area. Diners were requesting tables in
other areas, and the ones sitting next to them began to talk in low
whispers. Mark, finally realizing how
obvious this lovers lunch was becoming, told Ralph that he wanted to
move to
another table with a little more privacy.
Ralph readily agreed by placing their order on the table behind
them and
then assisted Elizabeth with moving her drink.
After everything was moved, Mark was now sitting to her right
instead of
across the table. With this arrangement,
Mark could turn toward her and place his back to the rest of the world. He reached across the table and gently took
hold of her hand. Her palm was sweaty,
yet it wasn’t clammy. Her nails had been
done professionally with just a hint of color, and he could feel each
beat of
her heart as he held her hand ever so softly.
He held it as if it was a most precious jewel.
To him, it was. As they talked with
each other, they stared
into each other’s eyes, conversant with their inner most souls. What they were saying to each other in words
could never have conveyed what they were saying with their eyes. And
touch. They were still in love and
neither of them denied it. Their actions
were screaming it from the depths of their hearts.
Ralph, again sensing an
opening in
their conversation of souls, finally returned and took their orders. Mark ordered, “I’ll have the sesame seared
Ahi, rare, and she’ll have the grilled sea scallop skewers wrapped with
smoked
salmon bacon.”
Elizabeth confided that
she had been
through hell with the death of her father and her own dealings with
breast
cancer and a heart condition brought on by the multitude of cancer
treatments
she had survived. He confided to her the
hell he had been through with the difficulties with his wife and in
having to
live alone. They both shared their
innermost feelings without hesitation.
They shared things with each other that they had not, and would
not,
share with their spouses. They had a
trust and a union of spirits between them at that moment that few will
ever
experience. They had achieved in minutes
what neither of them had been able to accomplished in nearly thirty
years of
pleasant, yet dispassionate marriage.
She had his full attention and he had ahold of the one his soul
loved. They talked and they
listened. Jobs, travel, kids, old
friends, college, brothers and sisters, everything.
Most of the stuff they had already talked
about during his phone calls, but still, they were interested in
hearing about
it again and for filling in the details.
They were both engineers and, true to form, neither missed a
detail. His comments about her job
discrimination were so insightful, she knew that he too had been there
and had
suffered much in a similar manner. They
truly were in tune with each other.
Lunch was
served and played with as they shared their stories.
She barely ate. He devoured his. They both commented on how they dealt with
their high anxieties. She starved it, he
fed it, like a ravenous dog. Both were
trying to appease “IT” with methods they had learned in childhood. Neither one being appropriate.
Two hours had passed
before Ralph
removed her uneaten lunch without interrupting their conversations. He had seldom seen two people more in
love. He returned with her lunch in a
box, another “Iced cappuccino” and “Fat Tire”. He
left the tab on the corner of the table.
They were oblivious to his assumption that they were going to
spend the
rest of the day in his booth and had brought the drinks without asking. They were appreciative though of his
superior service and they rewarded him appropriately!
As the two
lovers leisurely finished their drinks, it became apparent that as much
as they
had shared, neither of them had come to closure as to “Why” they had
separated
so many years ago. Both had hoped that
somewhere in their dialogue they could have picked up a glimpse as to
how two
such dynamically matched souls had headed down different yet such
parallel
paths. Where?, Why?,
had they become derailed on their way
into adulthood. Mark drawing upon all
the courage he could muster and not wanting to reenact another “Titanic
collision with the Iceberg from Hell” casually, cautiously asked,
“Elizabeth,
what did I do thirty years ago that caused you to hate me so much that
you
never wanted to see me again?”
This was the
moment she had feared. The moment where
she had to tell him, “Why!” had arrived.
She had rehearsed it so many times back then but could never get
over
her rage. The thoughts of forgiveness
were there, but the feeling of betrayal always welling up to the point
of
blocking all speech. Nothing but fears
and tears. Now she had to!
No matter how long it took today, she had to
tell him. She closed her eyes and
tightened her grip on his hand, which he had never loosed since they
had traded
tables. The moments turned into
minutes. Elizabeth fought back the fears
and the tears one last time. Mark not
knowing what was the source of the trauma could only sit and pray. Whatever had caused the pain, he wanted some
how to fix it or to somehow make amends.
He held onto her hand knowing that he never wanted to lose her
again. If he held her tight enough,
maybe this time, she could make it past the tears so he could comfort
that
inner being to which he felt eternally bonded.
“Mark,” She
whispered, “A friend of mine, now my husband, said he saw you with
another girl
at the State Fair.”
“I couldn’t
stand it!”
“I went crazy
with rage!”
Not wanting
to know, yet needing the answer she softly cried,
“Who was it?”
The silence between them
was deafening.
“Who was it?”
“Who was it?”
“How in the
hell do I know?”
“I’ve never
BEEN to the State Fair!” he proclaimed
in a whimper.
They sat in
silence. Neither one moving.
They just held hands with tears welling up in
both of their eyes.
He was a
gentleman!
She
was a lady!
They gathered
up their belongings to leave and in a last gigantic effort of composure
she,
opened her briefcase and removed a simple white tissue wrapped gift. It carried no name tag. It
had just a simple gold bow.
She said with
a strained smile on her face, “I made
this for your mom!”
Once more, in
silence, they walked to her car.
He
opened the door for her as she wiped the last tear from her eye.
They hugged like they did back then.
Two hungry bodies
hanging onto their loved one,
yearning to become one.
They
kissed one last kiss.
She
climbed into her stately carriage
and drove off into the late
afternoon
Arizona sunset!
They
had experienced a life in just
the expanse of an afternoon.
They
were still both committed to
their marriages, yet their
emptiness
somehow was now
explainable.
Will it be another 30 years?
Will they let it slip away again?
Was it a love lost?
No!
It
was a love remembered!
No one will ever be able to take that away from them!
David
Overgard: I am a retired Boeing aerospace Engineer that has worked on
the Boeing 787 Dreamliner,
777,
767, and 747 aircraft. I started writing
short romance
stories that are
usually about 12 pages
long.
These
stories started out as a way to fill
some spare
time while working as a contract engineer.
While
traveling for work I found it more
enjoyable to write rather than watch brain dead
TV or to cruise the local bars. The stories are usually a result of a
vivid
imagination with little resemblance to any factual
person,
place, time or event. The stories are all fictional. The main character Mark
Scott was derived one afternoon while working on
the first story. I was searching for a
list of names and I was not having any luck. Going
for my next cup of coffee as I was walking down the
row of office cubicles I noticed the
name of Mark
on one door and Scott on the next.
That was
easy. As the writing has progressed it now seems that Mark has had enough
adventures that someday a few chapters will be
created to string all the short stories
into the
next great novel.
When not
working or writing, I enjoy
hobbies centered around homemade experimental
air
craft.
I enjoy
most activities of the EAA,
Experimental Aircraft Association
such as meeting other
airplane nuts at Fly-ins, meetings, or just hanger talking.
I do not
have any pets at this time
other than some Koi in the pond but I have had
many,
Black, Golden, and Chocolate Labradors. The kids have also
had cats, chickens,
ducks,
horses, and goldfish.
I now
live in
Mukilteo, Washington, with my wife. My kids and grandkids now live in
Phoenix
Arizona and Seattle Washington.