Poor Gus, born not only out of wedlock, but out of town, outside, out back in the outfield.  HHHis outlook on life wasn’t outstanding.

His mother took him home and put him in a car seat. She thought if she wished enough, she could get a car. She carried Gus everywhere in the increasingly heavy car seat and became known as the lady with muscles. She won weight lifting contests all over the county and became stronger as Gus grew. She won enough money to buy more lotto tickets.

She insisted on taking him everywhere in the car seat even after he had outgrown it.

His mother bought lotto tickets every day. They ate peanut butter sandwiches so they could save enough money to by more lotto tickets after she used up her winnings.

He went to school being carried by his mother until the third grade. He didn’t like being different and was teased by the kids at school. They called him the car seat carried cuss of a Gus.

When his mother wasn’t watching him, he would outrun the neighbor kids.  Outplay the basketball players and outsmart the checker players. One day it occurred to him that he didn’t have to get into the car seat anymore. Ever.

When he was in high school he got a job at the local dealership washing cars. It’s funny that he was around cars all day long while his mother still longed for a car of her own and kept the old, worn, dirty car seat, just in case.  Oddly she didn’t have a clue how to drive.

After graduation, he went to work full time. Every night he’d come home and watch his mother lift the car seat to keep her muscles big and strong. She put slick bricks and thick sticks in the seat. At least it wasn’t him.

He was told by his mother to buy lotto tickets every day. He did and brought them home. His mother used all the losing lotto tickets to wallpaper their two-bedroom apartment. Every inch was covered in lotto tickets. She had won a grand total of $72.00 in all the 23 years she’d played lotto.

She died one nondescript morning, and was buried on a day that was rainy, chilly, and windy. Skinny Cindy was at her father’s grave, right next to him.

As one could figure, they became friendly, fell in love and married.

He bought lotto tickets and one day hit the jackpot.

Skinny Cindy and Gus were flush. They bought a lush mansion, friends would gush over the plush place.

He bought the car dealership where he had worked for years and named it after his mother.

“LILLY THE LOTTO LOSING LADY” on the corner of fifth and Brady.

Gus and Cindy threw the beat car seat in the trash with the succotash and hash, not a move that was rash.  They bought new ones for all their little Cindy’s and Gus juniors who only used them in the car.

He quit playing lotto and “no peanut butter sandwiches” was his motto.

For and little thrill applied their skill, and wallpapered their home, from floor to sill, with fake $100 dollar bills.

                                                End