Jerome
still hopes for fame and fortune in the
Movies. He came by our Editorial Offices just after the last
election to get
our opinions on 'notes towards a scenario' he has written about Ex-Presidents and their
refuge
from the rigor of justice. He was joined in this effort by Voices contributor
Warren Crane. They would like readers’ comments.
A Place for FPOTUS
Jerome
and Warren Crane
The new
President settles in at the White House. Former
Members of the Former President’s Administration gather in small groups
in
exercise yards of Prisons to critique the recent election. Officials of
various
law enforcement agencies pace about just outside the WH gates. The
Former
President (FPOTUS) has refused to leave the WH and retreats to a large
staff
restroom (showers, lockers) in a far corner of an executive wing. It
would be most
unseemly to forcibly eject a Former President. So the WH staff delivers
him
meals from McDonalds or similar institutions.
They take him fresh laundry and colas on demand. And ice cream.
During
the time between the election and the inauguration
the soon to be FPOTUS did not accept the vote count. He held his
breath. He screamed
for a week straight. Stomped his feet. Plans for a Coup became more of
a coo
coo. Some Storm, inept Troopers. After bowls of ice cream and
assurances that the
Hairdresser would stay on call he calmed down and considered his
opportunities.
The
Former President has a PC and so can still issue Tweets,
which he does most days. These are prized by late-night TV comedians
and radio
personalities who entertain morning commuters in Los Angeles. FPOTUS
issues
Executive Orders which the WH staff collects at the end of each day.
They leave
him new EO forms, magic markers, orange rouge, Golf clubs he can swing
around, and
so on. And ice cream. Staff has formed a theatrical group that takes
turns
reciting the EOs after hours. They put up a sign on the ‘office’ door
‘Residence of the Former President.’ It
is thought FPOTUS might be there for the next several Administrations.
Persons
from Dark Places, Banks that at last got mad, Possible
Persons of Interest who do not want to be interesting, Ladies of a
vengeful
nature, Attorneys General of several states, are among others who wait
to spend
Quality Time with the FPOTUS. Some even want to suspend his healthcare
to force
him out of the WH. Or die. FPOTUS advocatesdevelop an algorithm demonstrating how
much the people are saving on Secret Service Protection, which kind of
throws a
monkey wrench into the stopping healthcare idea. As one can see, every
time you
try something new there are unforeseen consequences. We need a “Win
Win.”
Congress
agrees and is funding a new wing on the WH. It will
be called POTUS Emeriti Residence and will include walled courtyard
with
putting green. The Emeriti would be provided with staff to help them
use the
Law Library, file legal documents, and compose their memoirs. There
will be a
gym and sauna, staffed with personal trainers, Hair Salon, and ice
cream cooler.
A special amenity is a discrete private suite, a model of a smaller
Oval Office
Including desks for each FPOTUS, to gather and reminisce, to meet with
lawyers,
spiritual counselors, and persons who provide comforts of a private
nature. A
FPOTUS not ‘down by law’ might visit.
©
2021
End