When I am out here on the Pier there is no place else in the world I would rather be. I think a lot of the rest of the World thinks the same because I see people and hear languages from most everywhere. Tourists from abroad like to dress in their native costumes when here. And you see interesting costumes worn by some locals. Visitors from other planets would not seem unusual here I think. I try to get to the Pier early and walk all the way until I reach the fence and the Guards that keep everyone but the most daring from going any further out and into the ruins. Some do and do not return. They fall through the rotting floors; rotting ceilings fall on them. Most that go do so when the end is enveloped in fog and access is not heavily guarded. Or they go in darkness after the Pier has closed. Exploring the ruins is a routine test of bravery for the young, and not so young. During clear weather the fence is heavily guarded. When the fog rolls in adventurous explorers also find their way to the pilings by boat.

I think the wheel rides are for the most daring also. The Standing Wheel goes up too high for me but at least you are in a cage and can’t fall out. The Flat Wheel turning on its side takes you hanging on to some wooden creature far out over the water on one then the other side of the Pier. Local criminals used to wait in boats below and take money to rescue people who fell off. Now the beach lifeguards have boats standing by. Another danger is to wander onto the special path reserved for the motorized chairs favored by the larger-sized tourists from other parts of the Nation. This path runs the length of the Pier, somewhat off center so as to leave room for people who want to stand by the railing. You have to be especially careful where the path goes under the Flat Wheel. There is not much clearance to walk anyway and lighting is not very good. Motorized chairs are for rent at a station on the strand near the beginning of the Pier. Bicycles are prohibited on the Pier as are the new hover disks. Disks were welcomed at first but it is still too easy to sabotage them with various remote control devices. Some went flying off over the railing and into the distance leaving their riders in the ocean, or hanging on the railing.
 
There are excellent street musicians spaced at areas marked for them so that as one fades as you walk by you start to hear another. You can learn music here from around the Nation and the World. In some places there are almost full orchestras in formal dress. Others will have small groups or individual performers. The authorities discourage single performers who wander among the crowds. But there are strolling musicians of varying talent. Strolling poets overlooked by the muse.  And persons I think should be under medical care who want to explain their religious or political ideas to you.
 
Also spaced along the entire length of The Pier are excellent food booths and small restaurants. You will find the latest trends in cuisine, most that take full advantage of what can be taken from traditions and flavors the world over. And from the latest developments that result from University research in food science and service. Some places are smaller copies of popular and successful restaurants in the city, and others of famous restaurants from throughout The Nation and the World. The emphasis throughout is on healthy and interesting choices. There is one notable exception, and I think my favorite when I am here. It is called Butterfat Faire. They have advertising slogans such as ‘The Pier’s Unhealthy Alternative.’ and ‘Don’t ask for a salad here unless you brung a Rabbit along.’  A typical menu includes:


Some regular customers are odd even for the Pier. I always find I can’t eat too much of anything I get here. There is so much to it that it lasts me a week. A good way to save money I guess. Most large people shy away because they are ‘watching their weight’.

No pier would be complete without life-size cardboard cutouts of celebrities and politicians tourists can be photographed with. I see old friends Fightin’ Bubba and Cacklin’ Bud represented. There is Brightly Dawn, recently failed mayor and former small-time movie actor and TV commentator.  Brightly now has aspirations for high national office and awaits the call of the people up at his new fake ranch in Central Coast. And the new reform mayor of Greater, Singh Chapanakus, elected by a determined coalition of outsiders and make things better groups. And there are several uniformed military walking by. That is unusual because the few military we have these days are being deployed and re-deployed to some confusing armed struggle or another far far away. They look at the celebrity cutouts and shake their heads with disgust.

A booth has people dressed in costumes of the Nation’s Founders who make it their concern to see that public matters are conducted in accordance with ‘Original Intent’. They call themselves ‘Founders’ True Militia’. They carry wooded toy models of the guns of hundreds of years ago. [Local governments can restrict the carrying of firearms in public, as The Coast does, though ‘open carry’ is common in most parts of The Nation.  Editors.]  There are posters with slogans such as ‘What “right” to vote?’, ‘Outlaw unnatural sources of energy like the sun and wind’, ‘Essential learnings are good for are schools’.

For visitors interested in ideas there is a free debate area. It is set up like one of the forums of the Ancients. Local university students will gather on the stage and have spontaneous debates with students that are visiting. These are done with joy and good will. It is interesting to listen to conflicting understanding of Philosophy, Political Theory, and even the very idea of Freedom itself that students from different cultures can have. A crowd favorite is the occasional debate between students from The Coast and from LoneStar.
 
I hop across the special path just dodging a motorized chair and go to the booth that promotes Spring Desert City. They have a famous slogan: Don’t wait until you die to be dead, join in at Spring Desert City instead. Young bright-smiling representatives, dressed formally like undertakers, urge older people not to waste their dwindling fortunes by staying in the city. In Spring Desert City you live in your future mausoleum – save money on rent. Live a full future as ‘Dead Citizens’ that spend their days back and forth between the doctors’ offices and the restaurants. The booth has stacks of literature. There are long listing of doctors’ offices and restaurants. There are large glossy photos of the hospitals and clinics on display. And of the restaurants. And of buses taking people back and forth between the doctors’ offices and the restaurants. And of the beautifully-landscaped golf courses along tree-lined streets they will drive by. The separate bicycle paths they will see alongside the roads. The shaded running trails and exercise stations they will pass in the public parks. Tables next to the booth have representatives filling out forms for some older citizens, most accompanied by helpful younger relatives. Spring Desert City promoters have since embraced the description first used as ridicule, ‘now the world’s largest above-ground cemetery’.

I feel a cold chill and shudder as I walk away from that booth. After a few steps a familiar voice says “Willson.” It is Reuben carrying a small stack of Ax. “A day off for you too?” I ask. “Not many of those these days. Always looking for ‘new’ familiar subjects,” he grins. We are near the famous small stage with a small section of theater seating in front. “Watch this with me Willson.” This well-visited structure was built by the major television program production companies so that they can test performers in front of random live audiences of tourists. The staff is well experienced in seating only a cross section of tourists and not locals who might want a free show. I have tried sitting as a member of an audience several times in the past and there is always the tap on my shoulder by a Security Guard (‘Sir…, Sir…’). Television cameras record the selected audience and staff watch them closely and write in notebooks. Security guards keep others at a distance where they can’t influence those seated. You can see the performances on the other side of a marked off line painted on the Pier. A Security Guard in the space between helps onlookers remember to remain silent or just talk quietly.
 
You can see the performances yes but unless they include music you can’t hear much of what the performers say unless everyone stays quiet. Reuben and I join some other onlookers and see that these performers are comedians. “Good, I came here today to see the comedians. I think I might have all this figured out.” The current performer is successful in making the audience laugh at length. Several of the staff look at each other, consult briefly, and signal one of the Guards to stop the performer and lead him off the stage. Another comedian soon begins his routine. He continues until the audience laughs again. Staff shake their heads at each other. Soon a Guard leads him off the stage and another comedian takes his place. I conclude that as soon as the staff learns that one is funny they take him aside for further consideration.
 
Or I thought this until a performer begins and there is no audience reaction.  He has a smile that says he is being funny. A smile that is at the same time cynical. And the audience soon has the same smile. But there is no laughter. The staff seems pleased, have the same cynical smile, and let the performer continue at length. We exchange looks and get up and walk away. “Now you see how comedians are selected.” “I don’t think he is funny” I reply. “When is the last time you saw a funny comedian anywhere?” I shake my head and realize that they don’t seem to be so funny these days. “Willson I think I might have figured out what is happening back there. Laughter is subversive because it makes you think, see irony and contradictions, be critical. But if you can make people think something is funny that is not they don’t question. They go along with the ‘joke’ so to speak. Something like ‘I know I’m not funny, you know I’m not. I know you know. You know I know you know’ and so on. Others just don’t get anything but believe they have to act like they do. Go along also.” “But why all this” I ask. “Because people are surrendering this way. They submit and don’t question. They want to be a part of, be one with what ever snake oil they are being sold. Or I think that is what it is. I think.”

I answer that I will have to think more about this also. Reuben adds “I can get two articles from this now: ‘Remembering the Golden Age of Comedy of the Past’ and ‘A Sophisticated Comedy for a New Age of the Future’. And I get another entry for my Dictionary; what word for comedians that are not funny. As we part “I have to get going now Willson but I wonder if you will have another day off tomorrow if you would like to take a ‘road trip’ to the desert with me?” I have had just about enough of the desert for a while, but I ask where anyway. “I have been writing down all I can about Brightly Dawn. If he runs for President I want to be the first guy out with a book. He will be giving a speech out in Spring Desert City and I was able to get a couple of tickets in the Press Section.” That’s should be interesting. I have to learn about politics. I set a personal goal to be actively involved in politics in the future. So we agree to meet the next day.
 
And much time is left of this day. More entertainment, like the motorized chair wreck under the Flat Wheel where I join others in helping the large young tourists back up to their feet. Once erect they reach for the guns, or where the guns would be if they could bring them here.

(continued on Page 2)

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Thomas McDonald, Arroyo Country, 2014 © 
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